Search Preferences

By Scott Cunningham, Dis-Associated Press Writer

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - Internet giant, Google, announced today that their index will not longer return results for searches beginning with the letters D or O, or the word "stimulus", until the Obama Administration agrees to increase their monthly AdWords budget.

Internet searchers, outraged at not being able to search for terms like dog and ovary, have flocked to Bing, the competing web search (or 'decision engine') created by Microsoft Corporation, headquartered in Redmond, W.A. To their dismay, searchers found that Bing returned no results for anything starting with the letters G or Y, or the word "chair".